Random Thoughts

Today I had random thoughts about my life and life in general. I didn't get to rest as much as I wanted but equally glad that I'm busy enough to shake that thought off. My random thoughts drove me to think about my rested angel in heaven. I had a good look at the photos that are on display in the living room and happy with my work. I have for a long time had a subconscious love for photography.

Looking at the shots, you will get to see the photos that I took are all in focus. Those who know about photography and design know what that means... Really nice shoots that captured the moment just the way I wanted it to be! But alas! I only wish that someone could have returned the favor and taken me equally good and in focus photos with my angel Mishi. If only you can turn back the clock? SIGH!!!

Those are moments that I regret not having more of, that captured my angel and I. Though I'm glad and grateful of the few that I was captured with her. Time is one thing that we take for granted not knowing that you can never get back! Once it's passed, that's it! You will have to make do with regrets of 'Why didn't I?' 

Life is a matter of being selfish enough to put yourself first. For as much as you think of the next person, they will never return that courtesy. Only a few are courteous and conscious enough to return the favor. I have learned the hard way, that if you ever want anything done to your satisfaction, say it! Do it over and over again until you get that perfect shot that you want. This is now possible thanks to the digital camera era where no worries about the Polaroid films being wasted.

All this depends on one's upbringing. I am trying to change that perception and mentality and have my children appreciate and always put themselves first above everyone else. This is most cases, works for you as an individual and immensely boosts your self esteem, which is a critical MUST in these modern times.

So remember this my dear friends... Live by the philosophy of "ME first!"... Kapish?

Small Mercies

One of my occupational hazard is burning the midnight oil. I did that yesterday, I slept really late trying to finish some design job that was due today. I had two school assignments too that were due today too!!!

Surprisingly, I didnt feel the burn-out yesterday coz I was under pressure to deliver soo much with really limited time! But today... Boy Oooh Boooy! I'm I burnt out!!! The fatigue has taken a toll on me and as I write this, I'm half awake and can barely see the screen. I slept at around 3am and woke up at 6.30am, so that gave me only 3hours of sleep!!! Wow! this realization has aggravate the fatigue tenfold! ;-( But then again, I made a promise to end this procrastination nonsense and take charge of my life! true or true? TRUE!

Where do I begin... SIGH!...

This is one of the longest day that I have in a while. There has been diesel fuel shortage here and I think the scarcity is an indication that the fuel prices are about to be hiked once more! NKTest! Nway, as I was dropping the girls to school this morning, the car started stalling. Oh yeah, the girls told me that the car was refusing to start. That's a hard start right there. As we drove to school, it kept soft stalling and was literally holding my breath as I say a silent prayer.

Just after dropping the girls, I hit the highway in anticipation to get to the nearest petrol station and fuel. Guess what? Yeah,...you guessed right... It completely stalled and refused to go! Right there at the junction of a busy road. I looked at the time and saw that I had one and a half hours to make it to town for my Monday morning negotiation class, which by the way, was a CAT day. Hubby's traveled out of the country and the nearest person to call was my taxi guy. God bless him, he was very helpful in conjunction with his partner. Anthony brought me diesel and after several attempts to jump-start the car, it finally did!

There I was in the morning traffic and had only 15minutes to be in class in time for the negotiation CAT. You know, in such circumstances that you wake up and such things happen first thing on a Monday morning, you just keep your cool, pray and hope for the best. Let's just say, I did my CAT, finished an assignment and finalized on the design work that also due. Ooh! I didn't even have time for lunch too! I have no idea where I got the energy from but I thank Almighty God for His small mercies.

No matter how the week or day begins, especially with mishaps, just be grateful for you don't know what God has shielded you from, would you have had it your way! And to this I say... Alhamdulilah!

Good night y'all... it's nine minutes to midnight! Oh NO! NOT AGAIN!...

Dirty Picture

When in high school, it is usually compulsory to read and review literature books. Any literature addict would love the movie "The Dirty Picture". It is a great movie, an Indian one, with an excellent plot. I enjoyed it all through the 2 hours of it.

Now, for a literature student, this movie can make an excellent exam review as it touches on society, perceptions, attitudes, fame, the list is endless, depending on what angle you want to review it from. I watched it this afternoon and it gave me a perspective of life from Silk's - the main actress - world view. Especially when she went up on stage to receive her award. Her appreciation speech was 'speechless!' tihihi...

She's a wild spirit and whenever she talks, it gives you food for thought. I will keep updating this post with her punchlines that will leave you thinking...

The old dude, I cant remember his name, said this in regard to Silk's fame; 'No matter how high the popcorn goes... it always falls back in the pan.'

In her relations with Abraham, a proud and rigid film producer, who hated her with a passion, Silk said; 'For lack of a friend, an enemy will do.' And as their encounters went on... she murmured; 'Nothing can be worse than this Silk, even your enemy doesn't hate you anymore!'

Such above phrases are what was likely to be brought in literature exams questions and one is asked to analyze the movie in relation to any of the above phrases or further explain what your understanding was of that phrase.

Don't you just love literature? Go on... watch this movie and gimmie your sentiments ;-)

Ok, leggo...

What is Love?

Satisfaction and ultimate fulfillment are by-products of dedicated love. They belong only to those who can reach beyond themselves, to whom giving is more important than receiving. Love is doing everything you can to help others build whatever needs to be done, and saving whatever will promote the other's happiness, security and well-being. Sometimes love hurts. And HURT! it does...

Love is on a constant journey to what others need. It is kind, beautiful and must be attentive, caring and open to both. To what others say and to what others cannot say. Love says no with empathy and great compassion. Love is firm but when needed it must be tender. When others have tried and failed, love is the hand in yours, in your moments of discouragement and disappointment.

Love is reliable. It is a choice  and commitment to others' true and lasting happiness. It is dedicated to growth and fulfillment.  Love is not selfish but sometimes fails for lack of wisdom or abundance of weakness, but it forgives, knowing the intentions are good.

Love does not attach conditions. Genuine love is always a free gift. It realizes and accepts that there will be disappointments and disturbing emotions. There may be times when miles lay between, but love is a commitment. It believes and endures things.

Love encourages freedom of self. Love shares positive and negative reactions to warm and cold feelings. Love, intimate love, will never reject others. It is the first to encourage and the last to condemn. Love is a commitment to growth, happiness and fulfillment of one another!

Now that you know what love is... do you feel it?

Stupid Ignorance

The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end!
                                                             - Disraeli Benjamin

Just like every FIRST we get to experience in our lives, nothing beats that of a first love! SIGH!!!... And I couldn't put it better than Schneider Bob when he said, "Love is when two people who care for each other get confused!"

Everyone in their lifetime has on more than a couple of times experienced this confusion, stupidity and ignorance that drags along as we go about our daily lives, in the name of 'being in love!' The first love being the notorious culprit! I always chuckle as I remember mine. Going down memory lane always has me smiling sheepishly with nostalgia.

What about you? ;-)

Dreams

Once in a while, right in the middle of an ordinary life, love gives us a fairy tale!

What is life without dreams? This is one area that  doesn't discriminate, young or old, male or female, WE ALL all have dreams. It is our dreams that give us the will power to sleep and rise to see another morning and continue to hope and pray that our dreams come true. 

As we were growing up, we were fed on fairy tales that were so surreal that they can only be "in our dreams!" ...tihihi. Several times we've had a sarcastic response from mum, sibling, relative or loved one telling us "...hmm! dream oooon sister/brother!"

Being and feeling so high on your dream, you just shrug the sarcastic comment least it ruin your day. We live by these dreams, and as The Secret tells us, the more you have the same thoughts over and over again, you end up attracting that karma and you could eventually live your dream!! How about that!  :-)

Real and Fake!

As I had earlier stated, I am a sucker for love. Love melts my heart and always makes me feel the appreciation that I am valued and mean something to someone. A real self esteem booster! But then again, as years have gone by, I have come to understand and know when REAL and FAKE love that being is directed my way. You know, the way someone knows that you are a sucker for something, and they fully, I mean FULLY take advantage of that fact to play with your emotions so as to gain whatever it is they wanted to achieve in the first place. Yeah... that one!!!

To my understanding and the way I know it to be:-

Love takes time. It needs a history of giving and receiving, laughing and crying. ...and boy have I had my moments of everything! Without giving, you cannot receive and equally, without knowing sadness, disappointment and tears of pain, betrayal, anger &loss... you will not appreciate the joys, laughter and happiness of Love!!!!
 
Love never promises instant gratification, only ultimate fulfillment. Finally but not least, Love means believing in someone, in something... It supposes a willingness to struggle, to work, to suffer and to rejoice!

To all yee love suckers as I out there...  life is too short to have any regrets. Love like there's no tomorrow, ...for, it is your personal gratification and happiness, is all that counts!