I Miss U...

Its the first month that's the most difficult. Every ticking moment is filled with nostalgia. Gazing at one place, not specifically looking at anything, as in a trance. Dazed and hopeless for the future. How can I live without you? How? Good Lord, I search for an answer from Thee on this one, for it is the most difficult situation I have so far encountered.

No amount of tears shed would bring you back to me. Gone you are, without even saying goodbye. That thought... that very thought makes my tears flow freely as a waterfall! The thought of us chatting and your presence made happy. That smile, that charming smile and twinkling eyes melted my heart. You always knew the right buttons to push, just so you hear my warm hearty laughter! then you would also burst out laughing and giggling at how naughty you are!

Your flawless, supple, smooth and soft skin against mine felt soo good that I took pleasure in oiling and massaging your whole body. Your eyes told me so, of the pleasure you derived from that! The tenderness of your lips still lingers on mine as though it was just five minutes ago. As I caress my lips and think of you, I thank our Almighty God for the moment we shared. For it is through Him, that He giveth and through Him, that He taketh away.

I thank Him for the gift of time. From the time since I first glanced and laid my eyes on you. The first time I held you in my arms. Kissed and hugged you tightly, though still weak, knowing we were going to together forever and ever, till death do we part! The bond we had is beyond any human comprehension, only God and any mother out there, will understand what it entails! Since inception, nurturing you in my belly as you grow from a tiny cell to a complete young one of human beings, is one of God's many great miracles of life!

This is the beginning of my story. This is a mother's story of losing a child. My journey through the life and time God blessed me with Mishi Mbaruku.

Odyssey

When one tries to visualize the future, usually, you will notice that there's a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go. An odyssey of some sort. Much as they are usually referred to as 'good' or 'bad' people only some are a little better or a little worse, but all are activated more by misunderstanding rather than malice. A blindness to what is going on in each others hearts... nobody sees anybody truly but all through the flaws of their own egos.

That is how we humans see each other in our course of life. Vanity, fear, desire, competition - all such distortions that are within our own egos - condition our vision of those in relation to us. But then again, add to those distortions, to our own egos and the corresponding distortions in the egos of others! MY MY MY... do you see how cloudy the glass through which we look at each other becomes?

That's how it is in all human relationships except when there is that rare case of two people who love intensely enough to burn through all those layers of opacity and see each other's naked hearts!