In Loving Memory... Great Tribute BO!

To Graça Machel and the Mandela family; to President Zuma and members of the government; to heads of state and government, past and present; distinguished guests - it is a singular honour to be with you today, to celebrate a life unlike any other. To the people of South Africa – people of every race and walk of life – the world thanks you for sharing Nelson Mandela with us. His struggle was your struggle. His triumph was your triumph. Your dignity and hope found expression in his life, and your freedom, your democracy is his cherished legacy.

It is hard to eulogize any man – to capture in words not just the facts and the dates that make a life, but the essential truth of a person – their private joys and sorrows; the quiet moments and unique qualities that illuminate someone's soul. How much harder to do so for a giant of history, who moved a nation toward justice, and in the process moved billions around the world.

Born during world war one, far from the corridors of power, a boy raised herding cattle and tutored by elders of his Thembu tribe – Madiba would emerge as the last great liberator of the 20th century. Like Gandhi, he would lead a resistance movement – a movement that at its start held little prospect of success. Like King, he would give potent voice to the claims of the oppressed, and the moral necessity of racial justice. He would endure a brutal imprisonment that began in the time of Kennedy and Khrushchev, and reached the final days of the Cold War.

Emerging from prison, without force of arms, he would – like Lincoln – hold his country together when it threatened to break apart. Like America's founding fathers, he would erect a constitutional order to preserve freedom for future generations – a commitment to democracy and rule of law ratified not only by his election, but by his willingness to step down from power.

Given the sweep of his life, and the adoration that he so rightly earned, it is tempting then to remember Nelson Mandela as an icon, smiling and serene, detached from the tawdry affairs of lesser men. But Madiba himself strongly resisted such a lifeless portrait. Instead, he insisted on sharing with us his doubts and fears; his miscalculations along with his victories. "I'm not a saint," he said, "unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying."

It was precisely because he could admit to imperfection – because he could be so full of good humour, even mischief, despite the heavy burdens he carried – that we loved him so. He was not a bust made of marble; he was a man of flesh and blood – a son and husband, a father and a friend. That is why we learned so much from him; that is why we can learn from him still. For nothing he achieved was inevitable. In the arc of his life, we see a man who earned his place in history through struggle and shrewdness; persistence and faith. He tells us what's possible not just in the pages of dusty history books, but in our own lives as well.

Mandela showed us the power of action; of taking risks on behalf of our ideals. Perhaps Madiba was right that he inherited, "a proud rebelliousness, a stubborn sense of fairness" from his father. Certainly he shared with millions of black and coloured South Africans the anger born of, "a thousand slights, a thousand indignities, a thousand unremembered moments … a desire to fight the system that imprisoned my people".

But like other early giants of the ANC – the Sisulus and Tambos – Madiba disciplined his anger; and channelled his desire to fight into organisation, and platforms, and strategies for action, so men and women could stand-up for their dignity. Moreover, he accepted the consequences of his actions, knowing that standing up to powerful interests and injustice carries a price.

I have fought against white domination and I have fought against black domination," he said at his 1964 trial. "I've cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die."

Mandela taught us the power of action, but also ideas; the importance of reason and arguments; the need to study not only those you agree with, but those who you don't. He understood that ideas cannot be contained by prison walls, or extinguished by a sniper's bullet. He turned his trial into an indictment of apartheid because of his eloquence and passion, but also his training as an advocate.

He used decades in prison to sharpen his arguments, but also to spread his thirst for knowledge to others in the movement. And he learned the language and customs of his oppressor so that one day he might better convey to them how their own freedom depended upon his.

Mandela demonstrated that action and ideas are not enough; no matter how right, they must be chiselled into laws and institutions. He was practical, testing his beliefs against the hard surface of circumstance and history. On core principles he was unyielding, which is why he could rebuff offers of conditional release, reminding the Apartheid regime that, "prisoners cannot enter into contracts".

But as he showed in painstaking negotiations to transfer power and draft new laws, he was not afraid to compromise for the sake of a larger goal. And because he was not only a leader of a movement, but a skilful politician, the Constitution that emerged was worthy of this multiracial democracy; true to his vision of laws that protect minority as well as majority rights, and the precious freedoms of every South African.

Finally, Mandela understood the ties that bind the human spirit. There is a word in South Africa – Ubuntu – that describes his greatest gift: his recognition that we are all bound together in ways that can be invisible to the eye; that there is a oneness to humanity; that we achieve ourselves by sharing ourselves with others, and caring for those around us.

We can never know how much of this was innate in him, or how much of was shaped and burnished in a dark, solitary cell. But we remember the gestures, large and small - introducing his jailors as honoured guests at his inauguration; taking the pitch in a Springbok uniform; turning his family's heartbreak into a call to confront HIV/AIDS – that revealed the depth of his empathy and understanding. He not only embodied Ubuntu; he taught millions to find that truth within themselves.

It took a man like Madiba to free not just the prisoner, but the jailor as well; to show that you must trust others so that they may trust you; to teach that reconciliation is not a matter of ignoring a cruel past, but a means of confronting it with inclusion, generosity and truth. He changed laws, but also hearts.

For the people of South Africa, for those he inspired around the globe – Madiba's passing is rightly a time of mourning, and a time to celebrate his heroic life. But I believe it should also prompt in each of us a time for self-reflection. With honesty, regardless of our station or circumstance, we must ask: how well have I applied his lessons in my own life?

It is a question I ask myself – as a man and as a president. We know that like South Africa, the United States had to overcome centuries of racial subjugation. As was true here, it took the sacrifice of countless people - known and unknown - to see the dawn of a new day. Michelle and I are the beneficiaries of that struggle. But in America and South Africa, and countries around the globe, we cannot allow our progress to cloud the fact that our work is not done.

The struggles that follow the victory of formal equality and universal franchise may not be as filled with drama and moral clarity as those that came before, but they are no less important. For around the world today, we still see children suffering from hunger, and disease; run-down schools, and few prospects for the future. Around the world today, men and women are still imprisoned for their political beliefs; and are still persecuted for what they look like, or how they worship, or who they love.

We, too, must act on behalf of justice. We, too, must act on behalf of peace. There are too many of us who happily embrace Madiba's legacy of racial reconciliation, but passionately resist even modest reforms that would challenge chronic poverty and growing inequality. There are too many leaders who claim solidarity with Madiba's struggle for freedom, but do not tolerate dissent from their own people. And there are too many of us who stand on the sidelines, comfortable in complacency or cynicism when our voices must be heard.

The questions we face today – how to promote equality and justice; to uphold freedom and human rights; to end conflict and sectarian war – do not have easy answers. But there were no easy answers in front of that child in Qunu. Nelson Mandela reminds us that it always seems impossible until it is done. South Africa shows us that is true. South Africa shows us we can change. We can choose to live in a world defined not by our differences, but by our common hopes. We can choose a world defined not by conflict, but by peace and justice and opportunity.

We will never see the likes of Nelson Mandela again. But let me say to the young people of Africa, and young people around the world - you can make his life's work your own. Over thirty years ago, while still a student, I learned of Mandela and the struggles in this land. It stirred something in me. It woke me up to my responsibilities - to others, and to myself - and set me on an improbable journey that finds me here today.

And while I will always fall short of Madiba's example, he makes me want to be better. He speaks to what is best inside us. After this great liberator is laid to rest; when we have returned to our cities and villages, and rejoined our daily routines, let us search then for his strength - for his largeness of spirit - somewhere inside ourselves.

And when the night grows dark, when injustice weighs heavy on our hearts, or our best laid plans seem beyond our reach - think of Madiba, and the words that brought him comfort within the four walls of a cell:
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

What a great soul it was. We will miss him deeply. May God bless the memory of Nelson Mandela. May God bless the people of South Africa. - U.S. President Barack Obama's powerful tribute to Nelson Mandela final bow.

Damned if I am!... Damned if I'm not!

It all started out so innocently... The look, presentation, the smell... ooh my! The allure was so irresistible. I knew it at that very moment right there, that this was all wrong. But then again, we are allowed to have little pleasures in life, it keeps the heart young! ;-))) #naughtylaughter

Just like any other lady, I first had doubts about the whole affair. But daaaaamn! Naa aah! My sixth sense and basic instinct are now clashing. Deep inside I knew whose going to be the victor, and may the best conscience win!

I will squarely deal and take full responsibility of it coz choices have consequences. I threw in the towel and went head on with it! ...and my oh my, it was just as I thought it would be, if not more! Now, that's the bad thing about it.

Once through, all I want at that moment is sleep! Zzzzz.... Had I tamed it early enough like back when I earlier blogged about, I wouldn't be in this dilemma right now. I could do something about it, but it is proving to be difficult!

I'm now even doing comfort dressing where I put on Darling's African shirts. They are baggy enough and I just accessorize them a little to have a feminine look. My love for free dresses too is on the increase as my tops no longer fit me!

Darling too has noticed and commented on the same. I'm now adding pounds at an alarming rate! ...especially the mid area! Chubby chicks and all. LOL! My love for food, the look, smell, allure... aah, so inviting and work consumes my day that I lack time to exercise.

The girls have commented on the same. They urge me to exercise more, Darling too says I should sacrifice some time, just like before and fully commit myself to healthy eating and regular if not daily morning workouts!

But where it has reached now, I'm even having hallucinations that I could be pregnant! It starts out innocently and before you know, yo fully sucked in! I'm now feeling movements in my tummy, my whole body's just acting up and the worst is I cant verify that coz I'm on the FP injection!

The last time I saw my menses was... I can't even remember! Gosh! The consoling bit is that I don't have morning sickness as is characteristic of the first trimester in pregnancy. All I can say right now is, either way, damned if I am!... Damned if I'm not!!!

What a coincidence!

As I slowly wean off sleep to finally drag myself out of bed, mummy (now here's where we have issues! They are all mummy, so I have to be specific!) i.e M'ma is right there on my face as I lay on the bed coz I'm battling to get out of it.

She is all tears, blocked nose and half dressed. Basic instinct and a quick universal mothers' thermometer i.e the back of the palm ;-) reveals an onset fever, coz we normally wake up with warm bodies but hers was extra warm.

"Muuuum..." "Yes mummy" "I'm not feeling very well..." "Just looking at you tells me so... Sorry mum!"

"How are feeling?" "Not very good. I have a headache and my nose is blocked and I'm hot." Don't you just love it when the young ones are able to tell you what it is they are feeling when they are unwell instead of second guessing and building up anxiety?

"I'm not well mummy, I don't think I can go to school... I'm I going to go to school?"

Now if the symptoms of 'unwell' weren't that visible on her, I'd say she's pulling a fast one on me just so she can skip school, coz they know how strict I am with such cases. I'm fully awake now and hold her close to assess her blocked nose and hot head.

"No mummy, you definitely won't go to school today. You will bath then rest then we go to hospital, sawa mum? Pole..." At this point she brightens up a little on hearing that. What a coincidence! I don't even want to think that had I refused and forced her to go to school after brushing it off as just a common cold/flu, given her the drugs from my 'home chemist' then get worse while there, I would then get called to go to school... God forbid!!! Knock on wood!!!

All this is after a quick mental note that the evening before, she was the one who announced that she has never seen me cry. Call me superstitious but this revelation scared me. The night before, yo very fine and engaging in small talk then the following morning you are unwell. To make it worse, you don't have to be told, you see it for yoself! What a coincidence!

After the normal morning routine of prepping the girls and finally drop them off to school, I get back home to find M'ma has finished having her breakfast. I then give her some paracetamol for her fever and headache, then put her in bed to rest.

I later come for her at mid-morning to go to the hospital, where she got to see the doctor and have her medication. By the time we leave the hospital, it was time to pick up her other sisters from school! I tell you, our hospitals are a WHOLE day affair!!! Now that's a story for another day...

Tears...

"Muuum"... "Yes baby..." I respond to the baby of the house.

"How come I've never seen you cry...?" Left eyebrow rises immediately.

"M'ma yo lying!" snapped my mum almost yelling at her! "You've ever seen mummy cry. Mummy cries all the time!"

Now you have my FULL attention! Huh?! Excuse you! Now my brow is further raised, tilted head, puzzled look, all directed to my mum! Ehe... giving her the 'now that you know better, kindly enlighten us!' look.

"Yeah, mummy cries a lot!" concures her elder sister. Now both my brows are raised as I shift glances at all of them! Giving them all the 'Heh! Oookey...' kinda look!

"Whenever there's a happy movie/moment and its all mushy lovie dovie... she always cries! Whenever there is a sad moment too, her tears roll faster!" ..."Yeah..., waaah, mummy si you have many tears!"

At this point I laugh so hard and loud! Whaaat???!!! I can't believe we are having this discussion.

In true sense, they are kinda right. I never suppress my emotions. I cry it out. I release whatever empathy feeling I experience at that moment.

Be it tears of joy, gratitude, disbelief, sorrow, grief, the list is endless! I release it. I cry it out. That's me, and I am glad my family knows that.

There are many a times Darling has told me to please try not to be emotional or cry too much!. ;-))) I know... What can I say, ...I'm only human.

He knows me well enough to warn me to guard myself, guard my emotions, guard my well being. Jazakah Allah to all of them!

The girls continue to talk animatedly about my tears as I sit back and nod at each knowingly at what each is contributing to the topic.

All this was brought about by some small talk over dinner and it was rather too quiet, when M'ma decided to break the silence. :-)))

#WeAreOne! Code 254

One can lose their precious life within seconds! In a blink of an eye! Quite unbelievable! Very tragic!

This is what happened in the ongoing terrorist attack on Westgate Mall in Westlands since mid-morning of the 21st of September 2013. As the story unfolds on what transpired, it all seems like a narrative from an action rated movie scene.

Reading it all on the local dailies, following it on the social media whilst gluing your eyes on the television, shuttling from one channel to another, is indeed a lot to comprehend. From the photos, videos and testimonies, the mental anguish of the whole situation is unbearable! It is with a heavy heart that I convey my sincere deepest sympathies and condolences to the affected families. It is not easy, not easy at all to deal with the trauma, hurt and loss!

With all that happening, I was humbled at the phone calls I received, the text messages on phone, facebook and whatapp all in an effort to know in a wishful silent prayer on whether or not my family and I were okey. The most shocking of these inquiries, it is the people I least expected who thought and called me first to ascertain my where-abouts and safety.

That was quite humbling I must say... God Bless You All! Jazakah Allah!

The spirit of solidarity and oneness that my fellow Kenyans are demonstrating is equally humbling too. Everyone is looking for a way to help. To help your neighbour in any way possible, free catering services to the armed defense forces, journalists among other persons, volunteer counseling, blood donation, m-pesa donations, you name it, the list is endless! WOW!!!

As all is being said and done, I am proud of my fellow countrymen. God bless Kenya! God bless our Kenyan Army and Defense Forces! ...not forgetting their Commander-in-Chief!

A parting shot... Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal not wound. #WeAreOne!

Be Kind... Always

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you absolutely know nothing about. Be kind ...always!

Being human, you never know what reaction to expect from the other person, but you can always disarm that by a smile! :-)

Roots...

I have this tree analogy when I think of people in my life, be it friends, family, acquaintances, employees, co-workers, whomever... They are all placed inside what I call my tree test. It goes like this:

Leaf People...
Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can't depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can't be angry at them, it's just who they are.

Branch People
There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it's possible that you could lose them. Most times they break away when it's tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can't handle too much weight. But again, you can't be mad with them, it's just who they are.

Root People
If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy. They stay low key and don't let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you.

Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots. Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have? What are you in other people's lives? When you are seeking friendship or guidance - be aware of your lifetime, your life will it be filled with the leaf, branch and root people. To grow and become the people we need to become, we need the seasons, we need the leaves, we need the branches... don't just brush them away - grow to understand what and why they're there in your life.

Seek to grow and learn from them. To all my roots new and old... Thank You! For your support and for being a part my seasons, leaves, branches and especially my roots. Thank you for making me the person I am today.

Life is an echo. What you send out, comes back. What you sow, you reap.

What you give, you get. What you see in others, exists in you. "May every soul that touches mine, be it by slightest contact, get therefore some good, some little grace, one kindly thought, to make this life worthwhile"

- By Tyler Perry

...and I too say, "May every soul that touches mine, be it by slightest contact, get therefore some good, some little grace, one kindly thought, to make this life worthwhile!"