Its exactly six years today since we laid my Angel Mishi to rest. I woke up feeling really low and my body wasn’t responsive to any emotion. Its a really bad feeling as all you can do is stare at one point with a blank mind. It’s as though she was there by my side, just as we were, six years ago.
My thoughts then wondered and was recounting the last day of her life here with us. God knew that my heart was too weak to handle His will. We were both too sick and weak because we were not feeding as required so as to save our lives by taking our medication.
All I could do is just stare at my sweet baby as she helplessly lay on her tummy. I kid you not, that is a sight that will forever be on my mind. The neuro-surgeon had said her tumour, caused by a spontaneous mutation, was at a really delicate place that wasn’t easy to operate, the brain-stem he said. I have never felt as helpless as I was that day.
As I had blogged a while back about this day, as was God’s will, I had to go to hospital coz I was too weak, my fever soo high and I could hardly talk or swallow! The doc’s review wasn’t good. My tonsils had by then burst and were removing pus. My temperature was at 41 degrees. That’s an admission case right there! As we say it here, 'mara that that!'
And as I laid there on my bed, feeling soo empty, I could feel and still hear her weak breathing. I recounted the moments since conception to birth and the eight months now. By now, my tears were free flowing and it’s as though I knew Angel Jibril was there at her side.
As I am writing this, my tears are free flowing. As much as it is hard to accept God’s will, I am grateful to Him for the limited period my family and I got to know my sweet angel Mishi. As I look at her twin sister grow, I always wonder how she’d be coz with every milestone her sister takes, I imagine her by her side.
Rest in eternal peace mummy, till we meet again.
No comments:
Post a Comment